


Princess No Longer

by Yuri_MoonFire12



Category: Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-24 07:44:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuri_MoonFire12/pseuds/Yuri_MoonFire12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the supposed final battle everyone has moved on with their lives, except for Yuki. His family and loved ones still keep him in the past and treat him like the princess he was in his past life. Wishing to be released from the woman he used to be Yuki confronts his family and Luka, hoping for the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gomen...

**Author's Note:**

> I was wondering for a while as I watched this particular anime, what it was that made the original Yuki want to become a boy in her next life. So I picked an aspect that almost seemed ignored through the anime and in most fanfiction I have read. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

He did not want to be treated like this.

Yuki sat on his bed, his eyes focused on the lines of his hands. Recently, after all the guardians were given the permission to live their lives he had found that he was a little melancholy. Some of them had wanted to stay by his side, to protect him and still watch over him. Before he could help it, he found himself pushing them away, telling them to go, be happy without him. It had not been out of any ill will. He just wanted to be free. He wanted to live life the way he wanted instead of being locked away in a tower to live as he was instructed. He wasn’t a princess anymore, so he didn’t understand why he was still being treated that way.

He understood it was their duty to protect him, so certain concessions he could make. For example, the one thing he knew would never change was Luka’s presence. He could barely to stand to be away for long and when he wasn’t around Sodom was there in his place. The Duras often had a habit of leaving for maybe a few days at a time, but then he would just appear, stating that he had been worried or he had felt a slip in Yuki’s emotions or something to that respect. Yuki had not minded that. At least he was trying. Usually he was never far for more than an hour at most, but it seemed he was getting better at slightly thinking about himself. That was enough to make Yuki very happy. Luka had finally started becoming his own person, his own master. Perhaps that had been the reason he chose this form. He wanted Luka to finally stop looking at him as if he were a trophy to be shined and placed on a mantle. He was looking at him like a person…like a warm loving person.

Yuki had gained a few of his memories back, just a few. Not all of his lives nor much of the one previous to the one he was living now, a few memories from the time he was with Luka. The worst part was that his memories made him realize that he kept Luka in a cage. He took the one person he loved more than anyone and trapped him in a contract and forced him to fight. He took Luka from one master only to put a collar around his neck and give him a new one. That was not what love was. That was not what Luka was meant to be. Luka would never say that to anyone. He would never even let a thought like that cross his mind. He was too kind for that, too wonderful for that. He was too devoted for such thoughts. But Yuki felt guilty for it all the time. It was no wonder he chose to end his life as the Hime of the Giou Clan.

“Yuki?”

He looked up and smiled as Sodom wandered into his room. The little devil’s tail was tucked between his legs and his ears flattened against his skull. The poor thing had always been attuned with his feelings. Not like the Guardians or Luka, but he was able to tell if he was sad or happy. Right now, Yuki could tell that his thoughts were getting to the Neko. Smiling, he reached up and twiddled with one of his ears. Almost immediately Sodom leaped onto the bed and nuzzled his cheek shouting that he loved him over and over again. Yuki could admit that when all else failed, Sodom managed to cheer him up with his childlike innocence.

“Come on, I have to eat breakfast before class starts.” Petting Sodom again, he made his way out of his room and downstairs where Tooma greeted him while setting the table.

As he sat down he smiled at everyone who had gathered in the room. All the Zweilts ate breakfast and dinner together, that was the only way Yuki had been able to convince them to go on about their lives. While all everyone except for Senshirou attended high school, some had part time jobs, clubs and other activities they joined, Yuki preferred going to the Asahi Orphanage and reading as a hobby. That didn’t keep him from being class rep or being one of the best students in his class, but it kept him busy enough as far as he was concerned. Besides, he didn’t know how long he would really be able to stand it if he didn’t go back to his first home and help a few times a week.

“Did you sleep well Yuki-Kun?” Touko smiled from her seat across from him and Yuki felt a smile automatically light his face. Touko looked after him, not like a big sister, more like a close friend that acted like a big sister. He found that Tsukumo was more interested in whether or not he was eating enough sweets.

“Yes.” Yuki placed his hands in his lap as Tooma and Aya went about serving breakfast.

Cheering lightly Touko nodded. “Good. I’m so glad.” When Yuki nodded again with a slight yawn, she paused, looked at her friend and then sighed. “You shouldn’t push yourself Yuki-Kun. You don’t have to go back and forth to the Asahi-…”

That was not something he needed to hear. It seemed, in everyone’s mind he was always pushing himself, always moving too much. He hated being immobile. It made him feel useless. “I am fine. Great actually.” He picked up a piece of bread and tore it in half. He handed half of it to the chibi demon sitting on his shoulder and the rest he bit into calmly to keep the rest of his mouth busy. The last thing he wanted was to say something insulting to Touko. She was only being nice.

“Are you sure Yuki?” Tsukumo looked up as he spooned miso into his mouth. “If you are really-…”

“I promise, I am fine.” He smiled flawlessly. He didn’t want to insult them, they were only being nice, but he was sixteen. He didn’t need people telling him to go to bed like a three year old child. He was capable of handling himself. He knew his limits. Granted he pushed them if they were in the middle of some form of battle, but that was necessary to make sure his friends came home alive and a little worse for wear. Looking up finally, Yuki noticed all eyes were on him. It was obvious they thought he was forcing himself to smile again, that and his attitude was not very polite. But he wasn’t trying to be that way. He was just tired of people trailing behind him like he was sickly. He didn’t plan on collapsing soon. He took a deep breath and rubbed his stomach. “I have been hungrier recently. Perhaps I should eat more.” That seemed to appease the crowd. Tooma gave him a little extra of everything.

After breakfast he found himself like always, sitting in the passenger seat of the red sports car Luka drove him to school in. He would soon be of age; he figured he might as well learn to drive. His hope was that Luka would teach him.

“You were upset at breakfast.”

Yuki blinked away his thoughts and looked up as Luka addressed him. Normally their rides were decently quiet, filled the sound of idle chit chat and sometimes Sodom’s singing as he sat in the backseat in neko form. Shrugging he twisted the strap to his bag in his hands. “I didn’t mean to be.”

Luka gave him a sideways glance. “Are you sleeping enough?”

“Yes.” Yuki sighed. “I just don’t like it when they try to baby me.”

“You are important to them.” Luka pulled the car over for a second and turned to his master calmly. “Does it truly bother you when they care too much about you?”

“I-…” The strap was twisted tighter. He managed to let it go after forcing his hands to be still. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. They just treat me like I am going to break at any moment.”

“They don’t want to lose you.”

Yuki bit into his lip to calm the storm suddenly surfacing in his emotions. “But they protect me…too well.”

Luka was quiet for a moment. He had removed his sunglasses so that he could see his charge without a hindrance on his eyes. “Do you feel that way…with me?”

“That’s not what I am saying!” Anger burned through him and normally he never felt this way. He was grateful for everything they were doing, but there were no battles they were facing currently. They weren’t fighting every day. Reiga was immobile for the moment. The general class duras weren’t making a muck of everything just yet. Things were calm. Everyone was calm, so why wasn’t he? Yuki figured it had to be because everyone had never stopped treating him like he wasn’t in the midst of some fight. They tip toed around him like they were walking on eggshells and he was positive that if he even got a paper cut everyone would freak out and to keep him away from paper products for years. He couldn’t deal with that. He hated being smothered.

Luka recoiled from that outburst. He never really saw Yuki worked up unless he was despairing in some form or fashion. To see him now, hands balled into fists, his eyes clenched closed and his lips being bit so hard they could have drawn blood…it was heart wrenching. Sometimes he just didn’t know what to do for him when he got like this. Looking down he took a deep breath and centered himself. “Gomen.”

“I didn’t mean to shout.” Yuki sat back in his seat and breathed out of his mouth to calm his racing heart. “That was rude of me. Gomen Luka.”

The opast nodded his head once and put his sunglasses back on. Without a word he pulled the car into traffic and drove his master the rest of the way to school. When they arrived, normally Yuki would get out and say goodbye to Luka for the time being, this time he didn’t say a word. He just opened the door and ran to the front of the school blending in with the rest of the students. Luka watched him go, an ugly pang spreading to the center of his chest.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That day Yuki chose to take a train and then walk the rest of the way home. He needed time to himself. Touko and the others did greet him outside of school with Luka at the end of the day and inquired after his health and if he would be okay returning home. Before he could help it he walked away from them and said he wanted to go for a long walk. They inquired about that as well and it took everything Yuki had not to break out into a run. Instead he just thanked them for the concern and said he would be home in time for dinner.

He felt like he was being selfish. Was it really that terrible that everyone cared so much about him? Was it truly a hassle to allow them to worry over him if it made them happy? He loved making his family happy, but he was so unhappy. For once he didn’t want to worry about possible danger or passing out. He wanted to be normal, to be thought of as normal. Shusei wasn’t always well and sometimes could go days without eating but they never bothered him. Tsukumo ate sweets all day long, but they never seemed to worry about him rotting his teeth out. The doctor drank those terrible concoctions all the time, yet the only time he ever really got yelled at was when he brought them to dinner. Takashiro was the worst of all. He suffered all the time from the demon inside of him and yet no one but his butler worried over him. So why was he the only one? Why did everyone have to follow him around like he was going to melt or break or keel over at any second?

“Yuki!”

Looking up as the mansion came into view, Yuki smiled and waved as he spotted Luka waiting for him at the gates of their home. “I’m home.”

The other ran up to him, looking him over as he was greeted. “Are you alright?”

Yuki smirked and shrugged. “I am fine. The train took longer than I thought.” He dusted off some imaginary dirt from his sleeve and smiled apologetically. “I made you worry.”

“I-…Gomen.”

The former Hime of the Giou clan titled his head to the side. “For what?”

“I upset you this morning and this afternoon.” He kneelt to one knee and placed his fist of his heart. “Gomenasai.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Holding his hand out for the other, Yuki gave him a calm smile. 

Luka looked into his master’s face, searching for any kind of tell that he was lying. He found none after a moment and decided that it would be okay to take Yuki’s hand. As he got to his feet, he turned and motioned for his master to go first. Without saying a word more about what happened he escorted his Hime inside.

“Yuki-Kun!” Touko ran down the stairs as she spotted her friend in the foyer. Without even bothering to wait she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face in his hair as tears had their way down her face. “I was so worried. Gomen Yuki-Kun, Gomenasai!”

Hugging his friend back, Yuki shook his head and tightened his hold on her. “No, gomen Touko. It was my fault.”

She pulled back and looked at him suddenly, her eyes still bright with tears. “Are you alright Yuki-Kun?”

Nodding his head he took her hand and lifted his bag again. “Let’s get everyone together shall we?” He tugged her into the lounge near his bedroom and along the way they gathered all the Zweilts and staff. Yuki was calm as he finally sat down and Sodom chose to snuggle at his feet. Behind him Luka was watching calmly. Yuki could feel his anxiety though. He didn’t like it when he didn’t know what was going on in Yuki’s mind. He didn’t often say it, but it was obvious in the way he spoke and overreacted to Yuki’s outbursts and everything.

As everyone walked in Yuki took a deep breath and grounded himself. He could only imagine what they thought was happening. For all they knew he was announcing his death or something akin to it. He never went as far as calling them all together like this. It was out of character. He stood from his seat and bowed to the whole room. Automatically everyone seemed to be in shock. Before they could speak he beat them all to the punch. “Gomenasai.” He stood upright and took his seat again. “I have been mean to everyone recently and I wanted to apologize.” An uproar took over the room about him not needing to be sorry, but he cut them off again. “I have just…well…” He bit into his lip as he tried to explain. “I have felt really restricted lately.”

“I sensed that not too long ago.” Tsukumo smiled calmly. “I should have said something Yuki.”

Shaking his head Yuki shrugged. “It’s alright, it’s just that I love that you care for me so much, but I feel like…like I am glass about to break and it makes all of you walk on egg shells around me. When I don’t get enough sleep you want me to stay home, when I go to the orphanage you say I do too much. When I want to clean or help with anything, you automatically tell me no because you don’t want me to strain myself.” He sighed and clasped his hands in his lap. His eyes were downward as he spoke. “I am not as fragile as you think I am and I think, perhaps I was born as a boy this time because I wanted to be stronger, not because I wanted to forget anything.” There was a strained hush in the room this time and everyone seemed to look away, ashamed that they contributed to his depression. Everyone thought that his gender was just a possible ending to the coming war between them and Reiga. But perhaps that had not been it. He couldn’t do much of anything as a princess, who was too dainty and fragile. As a man Yuki could do so much more. He could be so much more. He could finally lend his strength where it counted and not have to worry about others fretting over every single thing that could possibly happen. “I want to be stronger, but that will not happen if I can’t be left to make my own mistakes and decisions.” He looked up and gave everyone a smile. He could already tell he hurt their feelings. Touko was in tears, Tsukumo was busy consoling her while Hotsuma kicked at the floor and everyone else stared off into space. Yuki didn’t even want to know what the look on Luka’s face might have been like. He could handle his family being upset, but that face for some reason, one look could make his heart soar while at the same time ruin his entire day. “Gomen, I should have told you sooner.” The room was silent for a long time. Everyone was trying to process what they had just been told, while at the same time keep their composure.

“Things have calmed down and I suppose we are not used to that.” Shusei laced his finger together and leaned back in his chair. “We are ready for battle all the time; it is hard to change something like that suddenly.”

“I guess we changed our lives enough to suit us, but we keep you in a cage.” Tsukumo ran his hands over Touko’s hair as he spoke. “We don’t want you to feel that way Yuki.”

Touko finally looked up; her eyes were still awash with tears. “Gomen Yuki-Kun, gomen!”

“Perhaps, we could learn to give you your space. Too much time with anyone would make you want to push them away.” Senshiro sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “When did you become so grown up Yuki?”

In response Yuki smirked. “Gomen. I promise to grow up slower next time.” He got what he wanted. The room gave a collective smile and chuckle. Looking down he placed his sweaty palms on his thighs. “I love everyone, but I just-…”

“We treat you like a princess stuck in a tower.” Kuroto turned his head to the window. “We keep you locked away sometimes. You can’t have time to yourself because someone is always there. We are being selfish.”

“Please don’t think of it that way.” Yuki held his hands up shaking them back and forth. He had had time to think of this on his train ride back and during his walk. He hated being selfish, but perhaps that was good from time to time. But he also loved his family more than anything and spending time with them was one of the great joys of his life, but they were all individual people and sometimes that got mixed into their duty as members of the Giou Clan and the Zweilts. It caused them to cling to the one thing that never changed around them and that was each other. “I just want to be normal for a while. Like everyone else is.”

“Kuroto is right.” Tachibana leaned his cheek on one fist and nodded his head. “You are not a princess anymore Yuki. In fact you don’t even remember anything of that life yet we all still make it seem like you are that girl in the white dress.” Looking over the group Tachibana smiled calmly. “As cute as he was back then, he is still adorable now. However…” Tachibana looked Yuki over with an appreciative glance. “The Hime of The Giou Clan was nowhere as near as sturdy as the young man sitting in front of us.” The room gave a collective nod.

“We are scared.” Hotsuma was looked down at the ground, his fists balled up as he shook with his confession. “…Scared that something will go wrong if we are not there all the time. But I…” The air around him heated up a few degrees. He only calmed when Shusei walked over and touched his arm. “I remember when I first met you and took down that mud doll by yourself. You were not the same then and you are not the same now. We just don’t know how else to treat you.”

“Perhaps like a real friend. Not a trophy or mystical item to protect.” Everyone looked up as Takashiro walked into the room. He stood with his hands in his pockets and that same smile on his face that didn’t say exactly what he was thinking. He nodded to everyone and turned to Yuki. “I suppose that is some of my fault. I have charged everyone here with the task of watching over you for so long that it has become natural for all of them to overprotect. I should have seen this coming. For that Yuki-Kun, I am deeply sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Smiling the other waved his hands as if to make the words drift away. “It just means that everyone loves me so much.” He settled and took in a long breath. “I am glad.” A fear washed over him then. What if he pushed everyone away with this revelation? What if talking about this made everyone think differently of him. They had seen him be so selfless; perhaps it was just his destiny to remain that way. Tears burned at his eyes and threatened to fall. “I am just being selfish.”

“That’s good.” Eyes shifted to Touko. She smiled and rubbed away at the tears on her face. “You are too kind to everyone around you for your own good Yuki-Kun.”

“Touko is right.” Shusei looked up from holding Hotsuma’s hand. The other had reached for it a second ago and didn’t seem to want to let go any time too soon. He must have been taking this particular conversation very hard. “You deserve to be a little selfish Yuki.”

Tears did fall from his eyes this time. They loved him too much sometimes. They were so loyal, so forgiving and so willing to give into him. It almost made him feel like he was taking advantage of them. But as he looked at the faces of the people gathered around him he had to admit, it felt good to be loved. For a good portion of his life he had thought he was unwanted and unloved. This made him feel so needed, so wanted; it made him feel like he had to go through so much pain before, because this was waiting for him. “Arigato.” Yuki’s fingers took to petting the ears of the neko at his feet. The ears perked and suddenly Sodom was in his lap nuzzling his cheek and shouting his love for everyone to hear. It almost seemed like that was what the room needed. Before long they were laughing and discussing dinner. 


	2. Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki still has one more person to explain himself to. His family has forgiven him and given their blessings for him to become his own person...but will Luka. Will the one person who has devoted his entire existence to Yuki's give up the image of the woman in white or will he choose to hate this woman, for destroying what they once had with her final wishes?

“Luka?” Yuki closed the door which led to the roof. Despite the fact that they had an entire mansion, this seemed to be the one place that he and Luka visited exclusively. Looking up as the dark form of his opast protector came into view Yuki tried hard to swallow the knot in his throat. After their conversation ended with the rest of the Zweilts and staff, Luka had disappeared for a while. Sodom couldn’t find him and neither could Yuki for the longest time. His guess was that Luka must have wandered off the property and then just returned.

“Am I a burden to you?” Luka turned. His silver eyes were bright in the lighting of the night. Yuki could tell that whatever he had been thinking about was chewing him up on the inside. Usually his face was very indifferent. Yuki was only one ever able to tell what he was thinking when he didn’t say it out loud.

Yuki stopped, looked down at the ground and shook his head. “No. You are never a burden.”

“Then why have you not told me about how you feel?” One thing Luka hated was being left out of the loop when it came to Yuki. This was the one person he was willing to follow till doomsday. He should at least be allowed to know what was going on in his head.

Yuki shrugged and kicked at the stone work below his feet. This would be by far the longest and worst conversation out the bunch. Luka meant a lot to him. It was different than with his family, but still just as strong if not more. “I-…I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You can tell me everything. Tell me everything that you take on as a burden so that I can help you bare it.” Luka just turned away from his charge and stared off into nothing. To feel useless and not trusted was like death. He didn’t know if he could handle this kind of feeling again.

“I know…it’s just…I don’t want to tell you sometimes because I am afraid that you…” Yuki bit into his lip. He figured that if he kept this up it would hurt them even more. Not telling someone something was just as bad as lying. Kicking at the ground now, Yuki turned to look out over the estate. He had worried over these things for a long while now. He had never forced them past his lips, but once he understood how his protector thought it became clear there was a bigger problem going on than he had given him credit for. It was time he brought it to the other’s attention. “Do you…Do you hate me?”

Luka turned suddenly. His eyes were wide and even though he did his best to keep emotion from his face, he couldn’t help but let this slip. “Of course not-!”

“But you hate that I’m a man and not a woman.” Yuki looked into his friend’s face now and noticed he had struck a nerve. He had never seen Luka look so shocked. He never even let how he truly felt out unless it was truly important enough. Usually it involved some sort of reassurance for him. “You hate me because I can’t be the woman you fell in love with.”

At this point Luka didn’t know what to do. On the one hand he wanted to say that he didn’t hate Yuki, but his form as a male had been troubling him for a long time. How else would he describe it other than hate? Perhaps he wanted to say that he just didn’t see him as the same person, but he told Yuki that it didn’t matter what form she took, he would love her no matter what. But what if Yuki came back again and she was still a boy? Would he grow to hate him? Would he wish he had never met her? Would he wish to break the contract so that he could die or return to his former master? He despised hating to admit it to himself, but he did partially hate Yuki. He did, because she chose this. She chose to return to the world as a man, not a woman. She rejected him.

“That’s what I thought. You do hate me.” Yuki wouldn’t say that this was disappointing, because it wasn’t. It was heart wrenching. It was worse than anything he had ever felt before. It felt like he was seeing those letters appear in his locker and mailbox again. He felt unwanted and unloved. The worst part was that now he knew his true feelings. He knew he was in love and the object of his love wasn’t an evil necromancer, it was a demon, the demon that abandoned his entire life for him. He was in love with Luka Crosszeria.

He had known for a while that he would eventually fall for Luka. Not because he had in a previous life, but because every time someone said something about him or he looked at Luka or thought about him, his insides lit up. It really started when he visited the main estate. It clicked when he ran off to search for him, something had gone wrong and something told him that Luka was hurting in some form or another. From that moment on Yuki knew he was in love. At first it was hard because he was definitely still in love with Kanata. No one could tell him different and until he came to grips with what his friend turned into he could never put his love aside. After their most recent battle, he truly understood. It was okay to still love him, but his love was not true love. Kanata had been a big brother, a confidant, so of course being without him for nearly the first time in his entire life would be hard. But his love was not what he thought it was. He would always value what they did have. They had a wonderful understanding of one another. They were brothers and their childhood was filled with their laughter and plenty of scrapes and bruises wished away.

That being said, what he felt toward Luka was something that surpassed what he felt for Kanata. He worried over Luka. He wanted to protect Luka. He wanted to be there for him and he wanted to know everything there was to know about him. If he was without Luka for a day, he worried over where he went; what he was doing and if he was going to ever see him again. It made things worse for him when Sodom was around and the familiar was depressed because he had not seen his master for an extended amount of time either. Even though Luka often said Yuki was his reason for living, he found that he felt the same way as well. As of right now, in this moment, Luka was the only thing he truly clung to and if it made Luka happy he would break their contract or order him away, something so that he did not suffer anymore.

Breathing deep Yuki turned and smiled kindly. “It’s alright you know. I can handle that. I suppose I just wanted you to look at me as someone to depend on, someone you didn’t need to protect all the time, but someone you could see almost like an equal.” Before he could help it, he was crying. Tears were running down his face and he could barely stop them. “That’s what you deserve Luka. You deserve someone who is not your master, but you equal in every way.”

Luka’s eyes went wide as his princess began walking away. This could not be happening. When had they gone from love, to guardianship and now to hate. It didn’t seem possible. But at the same time, Luka didn’t think he was wrong. The woman he loved rejected him and turned herself into a man in her new life just to reject him when she could have done it when she was still alive the last time. If she had known all of that she should have told him, she should have just…she. The Yuki he knew as a she. But this Yuki, this young man, who he protected for so long wasn’t a she. Yuki had a reason for affected her gender in this incarnation, but he was looking at it wrong, she would never want to hurt him further, so there had to be a reason. Luka could have thrust a rusty knife into his heart as what this current Yuki said earlier finally hit home. Yuki wanted to be stronger and there was no way he would have been able to do that as that dainty little princess. There was no way she would have been able to do anything other than watch them from her tower as a woman. She would be locked away, with him as a dragon to guard her and keep her inside.  

 He did not know why he had not seen it before. Yuki wanted him happy. She wanted him to live a life free of masters and pain. She wanted him to love freely enough to choose to be alongside her, not under her. She didn’t want a protector; she wanted a lover, a true, honest lover. Luka’s hand shot out before he could help it. As Yuki turned to look at him Luka finally understood. This was her answer.  She was no longer a princess with a huntsman chained to her throne. She wasn’t even a she anymore. Why had he not seen this? Yuki was a man, a man that was meant to be by his side, a man whom he could depend on and trust with his life if need be. Yuki was…Yuki was….

Luka groaned. “Oh god.” He pulled his love hard by the arm, bringing him to his chest and held him tight. Before he could help it, tears were in his eyes and his heart pounded in his chest like it was ready break through his rib cage. His fingers weaved through ash blonde hair and his arm tightened around the other’s thin waist. “Forgive me.” He whispered. His voice was going in and out. “Forgive me for wallowing in my own sadness for far too long.” Luka pulled back and pressed their lips together. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the first kiss there really was no stopping. It felt too good to stop, on each of their parts. For Luka, his thirst was awakened. His desire returned full force and before long he was holding his love to him so tightly that he could have snapped him in two. For Yuki, this was really his first kiss. He had dreamed for a while of kissing Kanata and then his dream changed to kissing Luka. He did try to keep it to himself. He tried to keep himself from ruining what they did have but it was obvious he needed that kiss. He needed Luka to love him, because otherwise what did he have? After a while they vacated the roof. It had begun to snow and for his namesake, Yuki was freezing. Luka, not wanting to lose the moment grabbed his love’s hand and drew him to his lover’s bedroom. As soon as the door closed, he pulled Yuki to him once again and sealed their lips together.

“Luka.” Yuki felt the backs of his knees hit the bed and he sat down quickly, only to be pushed onto his back as Luka laid over top of him. Kissing Luka was like kissing snowflakes. His lips were cold at first, frosted and near melting. Their bodies heated the longer they writhed together on the bed and then just as it became too hot to bear, Yuki tugged at Luka’s coat. He managed to get it open as Luka moved to kiss down his jaw. Then Yuki ripped at the black shirt beneath the coat. His own shirt was pulled open and Yuki arched off the bed as he felt their skin finally come into contact. He had never been a victim of desire before. He never felt it burn through him like the sun and scorch his body with hellfire. He had never even known he was capable of feeling this.

Luka pressed his lips to his lover’s ear as his shirt and coat were finally removed. He was breathing hard, his hands moving to Yuki’s hips. “I love you.” Legs wrapped around his waist and Luka knew he was in heaven. He had to admit that he felt relieved to be this close to his lover again, but at the same time he was positive this was nothing like the love he and the former Yuki used to make. He was ready to burst and they hadn’t even had sex yet. His fingertips undid the top button to Yuki’s jeans.

Yuki froze as he felt the next level dawned on him. Yes, he knew that sex was part of being in a relationship, but he didn’t think he was ready for it. He had never loved like this before and his first kiss was no less than a half an hour ago. He didn’t think he was ready to go that far. Squeezing his love’s shoulder’s he stayed still. “Luka…”

Breathing deep as he tried to come to terms with how limited his range of pleasure for the both of them would be for the night, Luka kissed Yuki’s neck lovingly. “Soon then.” Pressing his hips to the other’s he ground down on the swollen mass in Yuki’s jeans. He sighed in relief as Yuki ground back just as hard. It seemed like this kind of contact his love could handle.

Yuki was happy Luka respected his wishes not to go too far, but this felt just as good. Moaning as the friction caused his body to reignite; he arched and wrapped his arms around Luka’s neck. He felt his hips lifted a little higher and then before long he was digging his fingernails into the duras’s shoulders. Luka’s hips moved slowly. They were grinding, digging and driving into him. He barely knew what else to do as his mind went blank and the only thing he could comprehend was the name of the man bringing him more pleasure than he had ever felt before.

It didn’t matter what kind of sex they had, as long as it was between them it was incredible and as Luka pushed them both over the edge, he knew that it had been one of the greatest things he would ever know from that day forth. He happened to see Yuki as his climax took him and the look on his face was what made Luka orgasm. Yuki’s eyes had been shut, his back arched with his neck and his mouth hung open in the greatest ecstasy. It didn’t take long before Luka was collapsed on top of his lover, his breathing matching Yuki’s as the both of them wallowed in drenched magnificent ardor. Luka put his head to Yuki’s chest, listening as his love’s beating heart slowed and then returned to normal. A moment later he felt his lover’s hands come to his head and run through his hair. If he could die happy, he would have right then and there. The former Yuki, the one he was now willing to let go of, used to do the same to his as soon as their bodies cooled and returned to normal.

“Luka…” Was it normal to be this happy, this tired and this blissful? It couldn’t be. There was no way in hell it could be. “I-I-I…I love you.” If he could feel this way every single day he would.

Luka smiled and closed his eyes. He most definitely could have died happy right then and there. Moving he sat up and stood to his feet. “Come. We need to clean up. I doubt you want to stay in that all night long.” If it was anything like he was feeling, he was positive that his lover would be uncomfortable.

When Yuki stood, he winced at the wetness in his nether regions and laughed nervously with a blush. “That is new.”

Smiling calmly, Luka grabbed his love’s hand and dragged him out of the room. They made it down to the bath and Luka made sure to check to make sure no one was there. After they inside Luka managed to wedge a chair under the door knob so that no one could walk in on them and then joined Yuki in the hot waters of the bath.

Yuki sighed happily as Luka settled behind him and he was enveloped in his arms. “Thank you Luka.”

“I should be saying that to you.” The opast smiled and kissed his lover’s hair.

“I mean it.” Yuki closed his eyes as the heat from the bath. “I did not think I could be this happy.” What he wanted to say that he was happy that he was loved so thoroughly. It was like he felt whole. Luka filled the last part of his life that he felt was lacking in so many ways.

Nodding once, Luka ran his hands down Yuki’s chest. It would take him a while to get used to touching Yuki in his male form. He could honestly say he never thought about touching a man before, but at the same time it would take him a little while to learn what made Yuki feel good. Not just physically either, he wanted to learn everything. He wanted to learn what made him feel good in all aspects of his life, not just one. Sighing he kissed Yuki’s hair again. “I am too.”

Smiling as a blush made its way over his cheeks; Yuki leaned back against the man behind him and relaxed for the rest of the bath. One thing he enjoyed about being around Luka was that he didn’t often have to speak to be comfortable. They were content enough in one another because they nearly knew one another in and out. Talking was verbally voicing what was on their minds, so why was it important that they do that when they already knew. Touching one another and looking at one another was enough.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yuki awoke the next morning feeling more content than he had in a very long time. He was warm, relaxed and well rested. He felt like he did when he had first come to stay at the Twilight Mansion. It was when he first realized he had a family. He felt, not content or just happy. He felt, well…incredible. Smiling at the morning light that filtered through his drapes, Yuki turned over and smiled at his bed partner.

After bathing the night before, Luka dragged him back to his room and curled up with him in bed. Yuki had not considered Luka capable of ever cuddling in bed with anyone, but it felt so natural. It was like they’d been sleeping beside one another for years. In actuality, they probably had, but for the time being, where Yuki remembered very little from his past self, this was different. Lying next to Luka, feeling the weight of his arm around his waist and listening to his calm breathing was something that was calming. Yuki figured that he would have to sleep next to Luka more often. If they were anything like last night, it would be wonderful every single time.

At the thought of their night together Yuki felt his cheeks warm again. He may not have gone all the way, but to think about the sounds he made and the way Luka pressed against him over and over and over again until they both climaxed…Yuki could barely think about it without his cheeks turning so red that it looked like he might be running a fever. Instead of focusing on the way he moaned the night before Yuki looked up into Luka’s face and decided to memorize it. Perhaps that would give him some peace of mind.

He could remember when he first learned of what Luka was. Shusei had described an opast as having a striking human form that drew people in. Yuki had been drawn in the moment he laid eyes on Luka. He could remember the reasoning too, it wasn’t because Luka was beautiful, because he most definitely was, it was because what was striking about him was his soul. Like him, Luka believed himself to be in need of punishment for living and Yuki felt the same way too. However, the thing was that Luka was still pure on the inside. He was as lively and as kind hearted as a saint. He just didn’t know it and that was what drew Yuki in.  

Yuki’s hands touched the edges of Luka’s jaw and he found himself tracing his face as he thought about the way Luka looked at him and talk to him when they first met. Yuki could barely believe that someone wanted to be around him that much or wished to make him feel so good. He could remember the day in the rain and how Luka appeared out of nowhere to comfort him. He remembered sitting on the park bench with him and watching the children play and how he just watched and listened to him. There was no contempt in his eyes. He just wanted to be an ear. Luka was his confidant. He was Yuki’s rock, his sword, shield and that bright light in the darkness when all things seemed to have gone wrong. Yuki smiled as he thought about the silver eyes that made his heart still and beat faster than humming bird’s wings. One day, Yuki would have to figure out a way to make Luka feel the way he felt about the opast.

Unconsciously his thumb ran over Luka’s lips. They were soft, like flower petals. Yuki could still remember the way they tasted. Snowflakes, that’s what he tasted like. Wonderful snowflakes.  It took him a few minutes, but before long Yuki was leaning in and kissing the sleeping duras.

Luka started at the feeling of lips against his. His silver eyes focused on his lover’s, which were closed in the moment. Smiling just a fraction, Luka weaved his fingers into Yuki’s hair and pulled him closer, his eyes sliding shut once again. Yuki reacted bashfully, his hands tentatively reaching across his love’s back and then holding him there. Luka, rolled over top the other, Yuki’s legs parting for him to settle between them. The heat from the night before returned in an instant.

“Yuki-Kun!”

Zess collapsed. He growled under his breath as Yuki let out a nervous laugh and blushed. The duras climbed out of bed and walked over to the door where he opened it just enough to see Touko at the door. He narrowed his eyes at her and growled calmly. “Twenty minutes.” He slammed the door without waiting for a response and turned back with a quick flip of the lock on the door. He came back to the bed where he sat on the edge of it, his hands taking Yuki’s as he sat up. Smiling just so slightly, Luka looked into Yuki’s jeweled eyes. “Good morning.”

Yuki smiled and squeezed his love’s hand. “Good Morning.”

Rolling his eyes, Luka pulled Yuki out of bed. “Get dressed. Soon they will try to get someone to climb in through the window.” At Yuki’s horrified expression Luka cracked another small smile.

After getting dressed they made their way downstairs, the two of them walking hand and hand. Sodom had appeared not long after they walked out of the bedroom and the familiar twirled and skipped in front of them as they walked. When they got to the dining room, Yuki had to think about what was going to happen now that everyone would figure out that he and Luka had finally become a couple, but then again, they had been a couple for a long time before that so he shouldn’t be all that worried. Taking a deep breath as Luka squeezed his hand; Yuki pushed open the dining room doors.

“Happy Birthday!”

Yuki froze as the banner and the sounds of birthday party poppers caught his attention. When what was happening finally caught his attention, Yuki smiled and blushed darkly. He forgot that it was his birthday. He must have been worried about everything else going on around him that he forgot. But of course, his family didn’t. There was no way that they would. He looked up to the demon holding his hand and saw the smile on Luka’s face. He’d known too. Smiling once again Yuki felt tears nearly come to his eyes. When he did start crying he couldn’t help but grin and smile as everyone almost freaked out, thinking they did something wrong.

“Arigato everyone.” Yuki laughed gently. He finally looked at the décor as they room relaxed. Everyone was there. All the Zweilts, Takahiro, the entire Giou clan and the rest of the staff from the main house and the mansion were present. Tooma made a huge spread that took up the entire table and there was a cake that in the middle of the table that reached halfway to the ceiling.

“Come and sit down Yuki-Kun, we all got you presents!” Touko ran up, took his hand and brought him to the table. Around him everyone began taking their seats and before long he was opening gifts left and right. Hotsuma gave him a new game system to try. Of course one of the conditions was that he be allowed to play it sometimes. Shusei gave him a snow globe that had a picture of everyone inside of it. He got a necklace from Touko that was a rose made out of silver with a pretty yellow jewel in the middle. Tsukumo gave him a giant bag of his favorite sweets and snacks. He got a hat from Tachibana, a shogi set from Kuroto, a calligraphy brush from Senshirou and a huge array of random gifts from everyone else including his aunts and Aya. Takashiro gave him a set of keys and told him that when he was ready he could take his driving lessons. Apparently he heard from Luka that he wanted to give it a try. Luka, being ever vigilant said he would be there to help if he needed to. Each gift he got was to him, as good as the last one. In fact each gift nearly put him in tears. Everyone was so thoughtful, so kind to him. He barely knew how to thank them.

“Hey Luka, where’s your gift?” Sodom looked up at his master carefully as Tachibana staged the question. The familiar had given his beloved Yuki a set of leaves he found falling outside. Of course Yuki smiled and said he would treasure them and he would. Sodom said the leaves were pretty and reminded him of Yuki. What was there not to treasure?

Smiling and shaking his head Yuki looked up at his lover. “It’s okay. I’ve gotten so much that I-…” He forgot that Luka knew him so very well. Before he could even finish that sentence, the opast leaned over, took his hand and in front of everyone kissed him. Yuki was immediately reminded of snowflakes. That’s what it felt like. The kiss was as gentle as a snowflake touching his skin.

When Luka pulled away the entire room seemed to let out a breath and then suddenly everyone was wondering where the kiss came from, if Yuki wanted the kiss or whether or not they could get one too. Yuki just smiled and clenched his hand over the real gift that was in his hand. Leave it to Luka to do something so meaningful without alerting anyone to it. Yuki knew what the gift was, it was a ring. The ring wasn’t a proposal or anything like that. As Yuki gazed at it, letting his blush hide the moment, he noticed that etched into the delicate silver band was the two marks on Luka’s shoulder.

Before he could help it, Yuki took the ring and held it close to his heart. This ring was Luka sharing his burden. He was giving unto Yuki as he often requested of God’s Light. He was letting Yuki know that he wasn’t alone, that he was planning on staying with him forever, that he was marking them both, so that the symbols on his skin no longer meant that Luka was bound to anyone, but that they shared something that went beyond blood ties or past sins. This was love.

Yuki felt tears finally run down his cheeks. He couldn’t stop them even as the room tried to guess at what was wrong. Yuki tuned them all out. He could probably live for all eternity with this one gift. As long as Luka kissed him and held his hand while he wore this ring, he could live forever because this was what he wanted. This was what he needed. This ended his life as the Princess of the Giou Clan. This gave him the life he wished for, back when he was that woman in the white dress.

**_~Owari~_ **


End file.
